My Identity Crisis
by: David Leonhardt
When we are young it is all so simple. We know exactly what I want to กbeก when we grow up.
You know what itกs like: กI want to be a fireman.ก I want to be a ballerina.ก กI want to be a movie star.ก กI want to be a nuclear physicist specializing in embryonic schisms in postmenopausal subatomic particles.ก
This aspect of growing up came back to haunt me recently when reading a magazine article by someone working in television who had always wanted to be a celebrity. To paraphrase her words, กIt never occurred to me that I might have to actually do anything.ก
Well, here I am, a fullygrown adult. Or perhaps I am no longer fully grown – Iกm not sure at what age we start shrinking! But I do have a confession to make; I never knew what I wanted to กbeก. I knew only what I wanted to do.
What I wanted to do was design cities, urban spaces, bus routes. No, thatกs not true. What I really wanted to do was design maps…but most map companies want map designers to simply mimic the cityกs existing design. Geesh, whereกs the creativity in that?
So I was led astray, falling in love with politics instead. For a while I worked as a political aide, plotting to become King of the World. Amazingly, it took only five years for reality to grind my idealistic innocence to sawdust and send me on a frantic search for a doityourself lobotomy kit. (I never did get to be King of the World, nor did I ever find that doityourself lobotomy kit.)
I spent the next decadeandahalf as a consumer advocate and lobbyist, doing media relations, government relations and industry relations none of which are technically verbs that one can actually กdoก.
At social events, the accountants and lawyers had it easy. กI am an accountant,ก says it all.
I was not so fortunate.
กI am a consumer advocate,ก I would say.
กSo what do you do?ก
กWell, I talk to the media and to the government and to industry,ก I would explain.
กAhaaa… and I talk to the tooth fairy. So what do you do?ก
Now, I have an even harder time when somebody asks what I do. Most people have no clue what search engine optimization is, which is my main กcareerก. Few people really understand what freelance writing is, except if they read a freelance writerกs article in a magazine . I don’t even try to mention that I run three websites and do affiliate marketing. But people do understand what it means to be an author.
กWow, you wrote a book on happiness? Congratulations. So whenกs your next book coming out?ก
Which is when I have to explain how a book really doesn’t feed a family, and if I took the time to write a second book, it would take time away from search engine optimization and affiliate marketing…
กHuh, whatกs that?ก
กNever mind,ก I answer. กIกm a stayathome dad.ก Which also is true. People might look at me weird, but at least they understand me. Or, so they think.
All of which brings me back to that question I never answered when I was young: what do I want to be when I grow up? I guess Iกll just have to wait a little longer to find out. Like when I grow up.
About The Author
David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/Item.asp?Catalog=Books&Item=059517826X
Read more personal growth articles:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/selfactualizationarticles.html
Visit his liquid vitamins store:
http://www.vitaminsupplementsstore.net
Or his happiness website:
http://www.thehappyguy.com
This article was posted on January 30
by David Leonhardt