Who Are You Mixing It With?

Who Are You Mixing It With?

by: Julie Plenty

I talk and write a lot about Life Design – creating and sculpting a life that is fulfilling for you. It is about shaping your personal landscape and environment.

Part of that environment involves being conscious of who you mix with and their effect on you. Beware of mixing with people who are consistently negative and critical, not only of themselves, but of others and their ideas.

It’s okay to vent and get things off your chest occasionally, but the Value Vampires have turned this into a fine art! They planted seeds of doubt in your mind and then you started to water them! Don’t tell them your hopes, aims, ambitions or goals too early, before they’ve had time to develop; they could kill it in infancy!

The Value Vampires are constantly whining and holding pity parties with anyone who is not aware enough to decline the invitation! They put you and your ideas down and typically ask questions like: ขwhy do you want to do that for?ข (which is really a negative judgement in disguise). Understand that when they do they often have a hidden, often unconscious agenda or a low opinion of themselves and their abilities.

Value Vampires drain you – a night out with them leaves you with a nasty taste in your mouth and normally feeling much worse about things. As you begin to make changes in your life, then you’ll probably find yourself attracted to different kinds of people and will not want to conduct your relationships, friendships with them anymore – and they’ll either change or leave your life.

How can you start to change this?

(i) Focus on building a positive support network – rather than seeking to avoid the Value Vampires. You’ll start from a more productive mindset and begin to think about who you want to be with and why.

(ii) You are what you attract. If you’re constantly surrounded by and mixing with those who have a consistently negative approach to life, then it’s very easy to discover who the biggest Value Vampire is – look in the mirror!

Develop a more positive and proactive approach within yourself and you’ll find that you are cultivating more positive and attractive relationships.

Copyright 2004 Julie Plenty

About The Author

Julie Plenty is a Personal and Business Coach who specialises in coaching self employed creative professionals to live more creative, fulfilled lives. To sign up for the Life Design newsletter visit: http://www.selfhelppersonaldevelopment.com

This article was posted on February 25, 2004

by Julie Plenty

Get Out Of Your Own Way

Get Out Of Your Own Way

by: Julie Plenty

One of the biggest obstacles to our self growth and personal development is……………..ourselves!

No, make that THE biggest obstacle.

When we say that we want to make changes, but develop resistance and fear and in doing so an internal battle follows.

Itกs natural to feel scared and apprehensive when venturing into the unknown, but ultimately living within your comfort zone is all very safe, but not very life enhancing.

Taking risks can bring up a whole host of emotions. But what are emotions? They are energy in motion. They are the stories we tell ourselves, thatกs all. Whatกs the difference in feeling scared or excited? Only our interpretation.

Life makeover programmes are very popular in the UK at the moment. The whole theme behind the programmes is that people take risks: in getting back or starting the dating game, clearing their clutter (and all the emotional stuff that theyกve been hanging onto), change jobs and even being coached within six weeks to do something completely different.

A Barrister is coached to become a DJ, A Choirgirl becomes a rock musician. A Radiographer becomes a commercial photographer and fooling the experts who don’t realise that they are กnovicesก.

The most moving part of the program is the follow up often a year later where the program catches up with the risk takers and find that, as a result of this, their lives have changed immeasurably. Their self perception, self esteem, confidence and overall outlook on life and what they are capable of has changed forever.

Are you avoiding taking risks? Have you got into a rut? Try setting yourself a goal of taking one small (or large if you’re up for it some people can only get excited and motivated if theyกve set themselves a BIG challenge) risk for yourself, every week, month, year and follow through.

See what happens. Engage or enlist encouragement and support if you want. But DON’t tie yourself or become overly concerned with the outcome, just taking the risk is enough. Reward yourself appropriately after youกve done so.

Our risk taking abilities are like muscles, the more we use them, the stronger we become and fear loses its grip on our lives. The fear never goes away as you take more risks, but it does stop defining your life. Fear is only an indicator that you are growing itกs not meant to stop you in your tracks!

So get out of your own way and stop resisting the changes that you want to make and the risks you are going to take.

Because ultimately………….daring to dream and living a fulfilled life is the biggest risk of all!

Copyright 2004 Julie Plenty

About The Author

Julie Plenty is a Personal and Business Coach who specialises in coaching self employed creative professionals to live more creative, fulfilled lives. To sign up for the Life Design newsletter visit: http://www.selfhelppersonaldevelopment.com

This article was posted on March 18, 2004

by Julie Plenty